Monday, January 10, 2011

oh god they scream

i can see plastered mannequins outside in the snow when the clouds darken the sky and blot out the sun with storms reaching to the highest towers and mountains of our world- the mannequins stand there as if they’re bored- and in a dramatic fashion like statue of David rip-offs hoping to make a few bucks off of some scum willing to waste their money on some fake novelty garbage- but anyway these mannequins just stood there not silent (but i’ll get to that later) all day every day and all night every night because neither the rising or falling of the sun could rouse them from their inanimate slumber.

            and if you don’t believe me about those damn mannequins then you are just the same as those absent-minded numbskulls who think the government created AIDS, the government were behind 9/11, the government is in contact with life forms from outer space- i mean come on, where do you draw the line? i’ll tell you that the margins of life sure are closing in on everyone- choking us into believing whatever gets passed around, a big old game of telephone.

            those mannequins stand and stare every day and sometimes they sing- usually old slave songs concerning Moses leading the Jews out of Egypt like they’re some kind of enslaved race being held to do work for some mightier empire but i can tell you myself i don’t want them in MY backyard! as a matter of fact, i wish they would just leave already. but there they are singing those slave songs all day and sometimes in the night so i can’t sleep- i’ve decided that the only way out of this one is man’s first great discovery- the burning, the flame- Fire.

            so i run out into my backyard looking like a crazy insane dingo-man carrying a 2-gallon jug of oil and some matches while wearing a fur bathrobe. first i start to encircle the gang of mannequins with a nice boundary of gasoline making sure that none escape my wrath- then i started circling each individual little rascal and connecting each one of those little circles to the massive circle, imprisoning them all- the end result was not spectacular just yet because you can’t see the design in the wet, dew-layered grass of course.

            i take a match and strike it, standing on the outside of the circle of doom i created. i’m ready to set them all ablaze but then i hesitate- i hesitate some more- and some more- and then i extinguish the poor little match and run inside with an evil grin just waiting for some teenage pyro boyish fun.

            once i make it to my roof through the attic window i look down and the mannequins are looking back up shaking their heads saying no no no and i start laughing maniacally because for some reason i think this is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen because the stupid mannequins don’t even have mouths yet i knew what they were saying- i’m about to light the second match that is for sure to wipe out that damn odd race standing on my property when i hesitate once more- i run inside.  i run past my kitchen, littered with dishes and half-eaten Chinese take-out, past my living room where the TV was idle with white noise, i run to the upstairs hallway, and quickly scamper up the ladder to the attic and grab a 2 by 4. “yes,” i decide- this will indeed be my weapon of mass destruction.

            i use the last of my gasoline to soak the end of the piece of wood and prepare to lose my mind so i light a match and light the wood and it bursts out and burns my nose hairs and eyebrows but no matter so i lift the flaming doom above my head and shout to the mannequins
“get away from me, you fiends!!!” and cast down the 2 by 4 into the middle of the big circle of gasoline encircling the other circles of gasoline within it.

            the result was spectacular- the initial flame branched out, following the trails of gasoline (reminding me of dominoes) and setting each little white faceless man on fire as the trails went along their way. i watch them all burn and suddenly they attain mouths because the fire melts away their once smooth un-mouthed faces.  they pull apart the melting surface of their face to open their new born mouths wider and they scream and oh god they scream and open their horrendous mouths wider wider wider than i thought possible and oh god they scream and i scream too.

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